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Apricot Tree

REXBURG, Idaho— In what botanists around the world are calling a “nice surprise,” a research team comprised of BYU-Idaho faculty and students announced in a press conference yesterday the creation of Prunus redenbacunae, a new species of apricot that produces delicious popping corn in lieu of its usual succulent fruit.

Jennifer Christensen, a senior studying horticulture and one of the project leaders, told reporters that she could vividly recall the moment she realized the experiment had been successful.

“I came into the lab very early one morning and looked out the observation window, and what did I see? Popcorn, popping on the apricot tree!” Christensen said.

Kevin Arnold, Horticulture department head and senior advisor to the project, told reporters that the he believed the fruit-vegetable hybrid would fill a previously-unoccupied niche in the culinary field.

“There are many applications for this new species of Prunus armeniaca,” Arnold said. “For instance, I could take an armful and make a treat. A popcorn ball, which as you can see, has a very sweet aroma. This is just one of the numerous uses I anticipate for this new foodstuff.”

President Kim B. Clark, the concluding speaker at the press conference, expressed his appreciation for the Horticulture Department, which in 2013 completed a challenging five-year expansion program.

Clark said the reorganization began in 2008 when Gordon B. Hinckley, then the president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, directed campus administrators to drastically increase the amount of greenhouse facilities on the campus.

“The Prophet said to plant a garden,” Clark told reporters. “To which [the Horticulture faculty] replied, ‘So that’s what we’ll do.’ The success that we see today is a result of that willingness to adhere to inspired counsel. We are now reaping the fruit of the seeds of obedience that were sown half a decade ago.”

This is not the first noteworthy achievement of the Horticulture Department, which in 2003 successfully produced a strain of miniaturized purple pansies which now line garden rows worldwide.

 
Guest Post by Dalton Willard

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49 thoughts on “BYU-I Successfully Crossbreeds Corn Plant and Apricot Tree

  1. Mr. Willard obviously does not do a very thorough job as a researcher. Academics can be very squirrely and you much always check results. In fact, if you read the paper and check the last footnote (footnote e) you will find the critical disclaimer: “Results simulated. It wasn’t really so. But it seemed to be” a successful hybrid.

  2. obviously some people don’t understand a little bit of satire. this is hilarious by the way. if only you could get popcorn from an apricot tree….. :D

  3. Congratulations: this is starting to go viral. I re-posted this as a joke on facebook, complete with a note about how “it wasn’t really so” and how “only people who were raised LDS would get the joke.” Still, a non-LDS friend of mine took it seriously.

    And then he re-posted the link.

    His post is now garnering comments about the evils of GMOs.

    I have now spent far too much time today explaining to various people that this was satire.

    *Snicker*

  4. Notice that many of the commenters do not understand the humor because they have not been raised with the primary song a, out popcorn popping on the apricot tree. It is about being a positive person and seeing the beauty in life. Judy Shermanx

  5. You know, there are THREE songs incorporated into this. popcorn popping, the prophet said to plant a garden, and little purple pansies. TROLLING LEVEL; MORMON!

  6. Taught that song to my daughter when she was so little, she couldn’t say the words correctly. Her version, ” I looked out the window and what did I see, popcorn popping on the CAPER SHOT TREE.” Seems the work “caper” is now a better name for the tree. lol
    Caper: Noun….an activity or escapade, typically one that is illicit or ridiculous. synonyms: stunt, monkey business, escapade, prank, trick, mischief, foolery, tomfoolery, antics, hijinks, skylarking, lark, shenanigans

  7. What a very funny satire about a sweet primary song…although a convert to the church many years ago now, we taught that song to all our kids and grand kids…undoubtedly my greatest call was as a primary teacher and the look on the faces of those kids as they would sing that song is priceless…..and yes when number 15 grand child arrives from the presence of Father in August, I will sing that song to him too….thank you BYU-Idaho for a great start to a beautiful day….I Looked Out My Window and What Did I see…lol

  8. More research will be necessary in seeding clouds with lime flavored gelatin producing a manna like product that would ensure that no ward gathering or meal would ever be without this “deseret staple”.

  9. This just made my day! I am a Primary Chorister in our ward, and yes, I did sing the words to all three songs as I read it. Still rolling on the floor laughing. You guys are great :)

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